I want to scream I want out.

I want to hit something…or someone.

The bruises tell the truth, but you lied.

Let go!!!! I can’t take anymore.

You follow me into the darkness.

Is this just a dream or a void?

Reality…yeah, right. What is that exactly?

I’m lost in my own hell that I have created.

I can’t decide if I’m mad at you or me.

Maybe I’m just mad at life in general.

Or I’m mad at God. Or just mad in the head.

This anger that takes over my heart.

Ahhh, the anger, the pain.

Friend or foe, I hold it close.

It seems to keep me safe, make me strong.

No one can seem to hurt me here.

No one can find me.

Am I safe in my hiding place?

My emotional cover wears thin.

I need…but to even it admit it is to hurt.

The tears, they burn somewhere inside.

I have to let them out but can’t.

Just…make it stop, make it go away!

But I have to tell you what it is attacking me before you can help.

I let it pass again.

Deep breath, straighten up.

I can take it, I’m always fine.

I am!

A deafening sound, did I do that?

Was it a scream, a cry? Or a gunshot?

My eyes closed, smelling gun powder and blood.