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Written: 04/09/98
Would It Make Any Difference?
If I told you how I feel would it make any difference?
Would it matter to you what questions are running through my head?
Would any mean anything at all if you knew what I am thinking?
The end may be close, the dreams of true friendship dead.
Why is it I am the way I am? It makes no sense.
I can’t seem to take a kind word…or hear anything you’ve said.
My head is spinning all in good pain.
I wouldn’t know how to live any other way, maybe it’s all in my head.
Did I forget to tell you? Did I forget to say?
I am crazy…I am mad. You may not want to get in my way.
What is that I could possibly have to offer? The question stands alone.
Why do I have to ask? Hmmmm, maybe I just need to know today.
But I stand back, watching my feelings and heart crumble.
Wanting to know but afraid to ask. Would you think me asking too much?
Do I need too many things to be worth it to you? Am I pushing too hard?
Perhaps I will walk away now, my heart in my hands. Save it until it dies.
And then I won’t have to feel. Not the pain, not the good. Just surviving as I should.
Does this make any sense to you? Do you understand?
My pain and joy or one, holding each other hand in hand.
My messed up mind, heart and soul make one final attempt.
Maybe this time all there will be is contempt.